This was where it all started. A recently separated Air Force vet with no family nearby. A traumatic birth, a highly sensitive newborn with colic, reflux, and constipation. Long daycare wait lists with subpar care, a desire to be present for my son, a desire to bring in income for my family and keep working. Don't even get me started on all the postpartum hormones, the 5 weeks unpaid maternity leave, the horrible healthcare providers I dealt with. The list goes endlessly on.
A Mother's Choice
We live in a world where oftentimes it is the mother that ends up having to choose between her child and career. Don't get me wrong, Dads face this too more and more, but biologically it is typically a woman or person with childbearing capabilities that may choose to nurse or not, and that needs time to recover that has to make the most sacrifices and face some of the hardest decisions. Perhaps you're facing something similar. The desire to be a present parent for this little human that has most likely become the center of your entire universe, but you want to have a career too, or finish your degree, or have any facet of an independent identity outside this little bundle of love that changed your life forever.
A Google Search Amid a Military Town
Truly wanting it all, it started with a simple Google search. "Indoor co-working playgrounds near me"
...Nothing...
More variations of these search terms... still nothing.
'Aghast' is about the only word I can use to describe how I felt about this lack of a space for something that surely must be such a common issue. How are other families managing? You mean to tell me Dayton, Ohio of all places, a massive military town where I know so many other young parents likely don't have family nearby, doesn't have a place where people can work and be productive while their kids play together?
Playground42's Beginning & Beyond
This was what started the rolling ball that is exponentially growing and evolving into Playground42, an indoor playground & co-working space. Because not only do Dayton parents deserve better, our society deserves better. We should be able to be home with our kids while maintaining some, albeit possibly new/different, career that allows work-from-home capabilities. Or maybe you're just a stay-at-home parent that wants to get out of the house and meet other parent friends. Either way, we are making this space for you. For all of you.
I started creating Playground42 back in February. Though our permanent location hasn't been quite solidified yet, we've started to do some summer events and are getting involved in the community. Since this initial spark of an idea, we've started to build a following which has come with a multitude of amazing suggestions. We will be partnering with some local businesses that focus on women & new parent well-being, and that provide numerous service to reinforce the idea of being a well-rounded individual. Yoga, new parent classes, play dates, public speaking events, workshops, lunch & learns, parents' night out, birthday parties, and holiday events are just some of the things we have planned for our space. Additionally, we want all people to be able to enjoy our space. So the first week we are open, we will be free. We will have occasional free-entry days in the future, and we will reach out to local charities to donate free day passes to lower-income families.
Furthermore, we are optimizing the space for neurodivergent families. We will have a quiet space/nursing room with toys for parents that need to step away for either a little breather or for a little privacy. We are working to obtain multiple ADHD and autism-friendly kids toys and furniture including fidget toys, magna-tiles, spinning furniture, and more.
Are Small Business Owners OK Out There??
Another thing I want to comment on, and this may become a post of its own eventually, is that being a business owner is really hard, especially for your average mom. I'm of the mindset that, to start a business, you have to be at least a little off your rocker.
Ok, hear me out because I'm mostly joking here, and and mean this as light-heartedly as possible and with no offense intended. In fact, this is all just my experience and how I feel about myself, but maybe you relate too and we can laugh about it together. What I mean is I think it at least helps to be at least a sprinkling of delusional when starting a business. Because the truth is, sometimes there are days where it feels like you're the only person that believes in yourself and what you're trying to do. Some days you just hear 'no' a lot. Or you reach out to other people hoping to build up some connections and get completely ghosted. Or you start a huge crowdfunding campaign and have this wild idea that things are going to somehow magically take off, and then they just don't. No matter how much marketing and effort you put into something, sometimes it just doesn't get traction. And those are the days that are going to test you the most, especially in the early stages of starting your business.
Seeing the Light in the Dark
Through a series of 'no', people outwardly questioning your business or telling you it is a mistake, or just generally knowing there are certain people that want to see you fail, you HAVE to find a way to keep going. So when people in our community reach out to tell me they love what we are doing, or to give us recommendations, it carries SO much weight. It is sometimes the only light in the dark, and can be someone's reason to keep pushing. Seriously, I never realized the impact your voice could have on a small business owner until I was put in these shoes. More and more I'm realizing the power of a community. This is something that's hard to swallow as an introvert, because I am absolutely abysmal at small talk, but I've come to love our community so much for hyping me up and helping me push through the 'no's' that I hear, or the imposter syndrome or self-doubt that I sometimes feel. Knowing that I can help parents from feeling how I did as a new parent is my number 1 motivator. If you're reading this, then this is part of my point. You're supporting me, and that means so much. Thank you.
A Podcast's Unexpected Effect
I recently found the 'Through The Pink Door' podcast (https://throughthepinkdoor.com/) which has helped me realize I'm not alone in how I feel. Also, they're just a couple of badass ladies that really can help you realize it is normal to struggle when starting a business, ESPECIALLY as a mom (obviously, this is a full-circle post). They also help talk about and normalize so many things that are topics society makes us feel like we should be afraid to talk about.
Tying it All Together-- Breathe.
Tying together how I've been trying to push myself through all the hard stuff lately, on top of hearing some amazing stories from this podcast, I decided to create my first vision board. I did it completely through Canva. I'm not sure I'm totally done with it yet, but I am going to print it out and hang it up at my desk. If I make more revisions to it, then I'll just keep the most updated version printed as a reminder. The things I've put here are my reminders that I can get through anything, and are subtle little nods towards where I want to be and who I want to embody. For the rest of 2024, the word that I'm embracing is "Breathe".
A simple thing, to breathe. But it is something I don't focus on enough. Am I nervous? Breathe. Anxious? Breathe. It is a goal of mine to get back into both meditation and yoga, and a fundamental element of both of those is your breath. Additionally, it is my reminder to get outside more and breathe fresh air, feel the sun on my face. To stop and smell the flowers, to slow down, to be mindful in every little moment. And when I'm feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, like running a business is too much or I'm the only person (in my head) that believes in myself, I'm going to just stop and breathe. The tough moments will pass, and I will get through this. A good day is right around the corner.
Life is hard, parenting is hard, working is hard, and being a woman in this world is hard. We can't always control what happens around us, but we can control something that is always with us-- our breath. I implore you to look up what Buddhist monks do when they meditate. Try it out. I found it so interesting to learn they don't just "clear their minds" like so many of us have been led to believe. A lot of them have so much internal dialogue, in fact. The key is to recognize when your brain strays from your breath during meditation, recognize it not as something that is good or bad, but just as something that is. Look at it as an interesting personal project to research how your brain works, where it likes to wander, and view it as just objective information that helps you learn a little bit more about yourself. Then kindly and gently redirect your focus back to your breath. And. Just. Breathe.
Thanks for Reading.
-Kayla
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